How modern women are reducing the intensity and duration of their own orgasms and how more and more women are reporting that they've never even had an orgasm.
I have had many women come to me over the years of my Tantric Practice in Melbourne, these women, some in their late 20's, have reported that they've never had an Orgasm or that they thought that they couldn't "squirt" a.k.a G-spot Orgasm.
So what's happening? how are these females, whom God has blessed with an incredibly erotic body that has dozens of "erogenous zones" which are areas of the skin (such as the lower back/sacrum and back the knees) that are connected to the Womb of a woman according to Vatsayana the Author of the ancient Kamasutra.
Modern medicine tell us that the The Clitoris is populated with over 300,000 Nerve endings, huge in comparison to the tip of a Penis which has only 10,000. The Cervix, G-spot, Anus, perineum and many more areas are absolutely alive with sensation, It's as if God when creating the Universe decided that the Female form would be blessed with pleasure.
So what's Up?
Why, even with all this orgasmic hardware do more and more women report to having less or even Zero orgasms? Even the women who are having orgasms, many of them are reporting shallow or weak orgasms that take a lot of effort for very little reward. They compare themselves to women who report being lifted to incredible heights through orgasms, they see women in movies really enjoying sex and they wonder, what's up?
Sex based emotional trauma.
Emotional trauma that is based around an experienced event may cause mental blockages that can prevent orgasms or make them difficult to achieve. The Vagina can actually store emotional trauma within it's muscular walls. During exploration with the Yoni Mapping technique used in my Tantric practices, I can sometimes detect "knots" or "nodes" within a woman's Vagina, I press on these with my finger and ask her how it feels, If she reports that it feels painful or "weird" I keep pressing, asking her to bear with the pain for a little while, in doing this, these knots can dissolve and become smooth, just like how a massuer can massage a sore neck muscle that has a knot.
The pain is a signal to the body to send blood flow with oxygen. Massaging any knot will release toxins into the blood, and this might lead to headaches and bright urine when urinating, this is a good sign, this means the massage is working. A massage doesn't detoxify the body, it actually does the opposite, for a few days after a massage you might not feel 100%
Even if you have del with the emotional trauma, these physical remnants can continue to restrict your pleasure.
Kinks in your orgasmic hose.
Imagine a garden hose that is kinked, it doesn't matter how much you turn the Tap handle, the water pressure will remain restricted until you open the kinks. The human body works in the same way. Macular "knots" do actually kink your orgasm, if you imagine an orgasm originating from Brain down through the channels of your body, it would really suck if those chemicals and electric signals where blocked and prevented form circulating. It takes a woman who is flexible and free of knots to feel a full body orgasm.
Massage is the best way to remove knots though, no amount of Yoga and stretching will release knots. Only massage/acupuncture/dry needling and Ect can do that. Imagine if you had a rubber band that was tied with a knot in the middle, no matter how hard you stretch it, you can't get that knot out that way, you will only tear the band by pulling.
Body Fat, Diet, Drugs and smoking.
Excess body fat absorbs Testosterone, the primary sex hormone in the bodies of both Sexes. If you're absorbing Testosterone within Fat cells then it's not going to stay in your blood stream and perform it's function. Overweight and Obese people's bodies are hormonally dysfunctional, due to this scientific fact, having lower libido and orgasmic energy is very common for people that are overweight. I personally don't discriminate, I have had woman of all sizes use my services and I can tell you without a doubt that women with healthy bodies do feel far more sexual pleasure.
Eat healthy fruits, Meats, Vegetables, legumes, nuts and seeds. Stay away from Grains like bread, rice, cakes and service station snacks, also stay away from White starchy food like white potatoes, chips and deep fried chips. Don't get me started about how refined sugars, diabetes and ect all play their part, we'll leave that for another blog post.
Smoking, bad. In fact it's possible to detect nicotine within a females' vaginal discharge!
Anti-depressants can numb the clitorus and make orgasms undetectable, I've had a girlfriend who was prescribed these drugs, she would physically have an orgasm but not feel them and she was too shy to talk to her Doctor about alternatives.
The birth control Pill" can also have side effects not only on the feelings of pleasure but there's evidence to suggest that women on the "PIll" will choose different mating partners then if the same woman was not using that pill, scary. Considering women start taking these pills when they are teenagers and it could very well influence major life choices.
Clitoral abuse.
The Clitoris is seen by many people as this magical little button you press that brings pleasure. So naturally in Western society with it's hedonistic tendencies, people abuse this sensitive bean with high powered vibrational devices, they jam in inhumanly sized dildoes and do all sorts of other violating acts of overstimulation.
The clitoris when being overstimulated can actually respond by developing scar tissue to protect it's sensitive nerve endings. When this happens, what does the clueless, hedonistic and stressed out woman do when she needs her coping mechanism to work? She increases the voltage, increases the settings, goes to the store and buys an even more highly powered device to abuse the clitoris and vagina further. The body responds by creating more scar tissue and the vicious cycle continues. What happens when a woman is with her male partner and he can't satisfy her? she blames him, not her own, now, concrete covered clit. Let me ask you a question, when did the feeling of your own fingers stop being enough for you? and if they were never enough trust me the answer is not more POWER, or a bigger dick or a sexier partner. If your own fingers can't get you there, you need a professional or Tantric practices.
Unskilled partner or self care.
Many women have unskilled male partners who really don't know what they're doing and are unwilling to learn. One reason for that is Ego, it's said that all men think that they know how to do two things well without any experience or training.... Fucking and Fighting. Most men are hopeless in a real street fight, but they've watched Kung-Fu and Hollywood action movies right? A man who thinks a movie will reach him how to Fuck and Fight is never going to be a proficient fighter or lover. Wise men go to martial arts schools to learn the art of fighting, but how many sexual art schools are there? None, men are just expected to know and rarely look for resources that might threaten their EGO. You see the Ego cannot accept that it isn't already great at something so it never allows the seeking and learning process to begin. Neo-Tantra is the main school that has been educating people about sex.
Let's talk about female masturbation, don't they know what they're doing? you might be surprised to learn that many females know very little about their own Vaginas, it's common for an adult female to believe that urine, penises and babies all use the same hole. Many females rarely touch their clitoris because they are just unsure and even stigmatized about touching it.
Why can't I have an orgasm?
You can and you probably are but you just don't feel it because it's so weak or you're so blocked. I once gave a client an orgasm, I asked how she felt and she said " it didn't happen" but I knew that it did, she just didn't feel it. How did I know this? well there are signs, the clitoris was actually vibrating, I could feel it with my finger, her pupils were dilated and she changed her breathing, she started breathing from her nose very strongly.
In the following session, she finally felt an orgasm that lasted around 20 seconds, sometimes it takes multiple sessions to unblock. She was ecstatic, and couldn't stop staying " OMG I just had my first orgasm" over and over again. We celebrated with breakfast at a Cafe and she never called me again, ha-ha.
I've never squirted and I don't think I can.
Every woman can, some more than others, some squirt out a literal Litre and we need a Mop up after and others only a few drops. The female prostate a.k.a. G-spot is in every woman. It has a lot to do with your hydration level, your pelvic floor muscle strength and so on.
One woman, came to me after having never having had a clitoral orgasm or squirting orgasm, the first two sessions were uneventful, but on her third both happened. Later she reported to me that she was on the toilet, going for a pee, then she started moaning, she had an orgasm on the toilet, just from the sensation of urinating. Her mother came to the door and asked if she was alright. She said "Now I'm afraid of peeing, what have you done to me ha-ha"
Maybe you have a weak Vagina.
The Vagina is mostly muscle tissue. Any muscle tissue, even facial muscle tissue can be strengthened and enlarged. The muscle's within the Vagina can get up to an Inch thicker from training, stronger more enduring muscles and also a better mind muscle connection will allow a female to Orgasm much more easily. There are women who can even trigger a little orgasm simply from flexing and relaxing Vaginal muscles rhythmically. I've listened to one teacher who says she can give her self an orgasm within a few minutes without touching herself, no one knows what's happening under the desk and it gives her a little "pick me up" during her day.
Stronger vaginal muscle will also allow a woman to squeeze and grip a penis with more force, giving her male partner a greater experience. If you've ever listened to a Rap song were the rapper talks about "her pussy got grip" that's what they mean. It's not about how Virgin or how worn the Pussy is, it's about the strength of those muscles and the connection a woman has to them. I personally don't enjoy a passive woman during sex as much as an active participant who knows how to use her Vaginal muscles. Birthing children can also weaken vaginal and pelvic floor muscles, this is what leads to incontinency or not being able to hold in your pee. Often times Pregnant women will learn about "Kegael" exercises to strengthen the Vagina and pelvic floor but this is a modern approach and not the best one.
The Yoni Egg has been used for thousands of years in the east to strengthen a woman's vaginal and pelvic floor muscles, usually made out of a polished stone lik
e Jade. In Chinese tradition this egg was inserted into a woman in a ritual before marriage to see if she was "pure" A.K.A Virgin. If the Virgin did not leave a blood stain on the white ceramic egg then she did not pass the purity test. This was usually done by noble families.
Do your research, there are a few ways of strengthening the Vaginal and pelvic floor muscles, In fact strengthening the Anus muscle will actual prevent it from drooping when you get older.
You're thinking about Orgasms too much.
If you go into each masturbation session or sexual act thinking about the end goal of Orgasm, you will likely diminish the potency and even prevent an Orgasm. In the west people talk so much about orgasms. "Did he make you cum?" seriously what an unfair expectation to put on a partner. STOP THINKING ABOUT ORGASMS, just let it happen if it happens, enjoy the experience you're having, be with the person or yourself lovingly.
Not being present is a sure way to eliminate pleasure, thinking about the laundry during sex? Well stop having sex, go and do the laundry first. I'm not saying the onus is totally on the female for being distracted. The man should be able to keep her attention by being good at what he's doing as well, it's teamwork. Believe me ladies, if we Men could stick our penis into your brain and stop the thinking we would do it for you, but we can't.
If you just stop thinking about Orgasms, what I've found is that they'll sneak up and surprise you when you're not paying attention. A good way to practice this is to have sex or masturbate slowly, with no intensions of orgasm and when you get tired or it stops feeling like pleasure and more like effort, just stop. Do this multiple times, start to build the idea that sex is in itself worthwhile without the orgasm at all.